Learn to Listen: Listen to Learn
Building effective communications opens the door to opportunities for trust and rapport.
By Christopher M. Brown
Improving listening skills may not solve all of a franchise system’s problems, but it might help franchisees solve many of theirs. Effective listening reduces tension between communicating parties, it builds teamwork, trust and a sense of belonging to a group. It is no coincidence that these are also key ingredients to a successful franchisor-franchisee relationship.
I recently began researching the power of listening and it has dramatically changed the way I interact with clients and adversaries. A particularly instructive resource that addresses the concept of active listening is Listening: The Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guideby Madelyn Burley-Allen. It provides an in-depth analysis of the power of listening along with several exercises to help readers improve this valuable skill set. Many of the concepts contained in this book can help franchisors and franchisees greatly improve their relationships by encouraging strong communication. Although this article stresses the importance of listening for the franchisor, franchisees can use these same skills when listening to their franchisor representatives or business associates.
The Listening-Hearing Misconception
Many people equate listening with hearing. This misconception leads to the belief that listening is instinctive and requires little or no training to develop effective skills. Listening requires more than hearing; it requires energy and discipline to become an active listener. What is active listening? It’s taking in information from a speaker while remaining nonjudgmental and empathetic. The listener acknowledges the speaker in a way that invites communication to continue while providing limited, but encouraging input which serves to carry the speaker’s idea one step further.
When a franchisor listens actively to a franchisee, it sets in motion a positive and mutually-rewarding process. The franchisee feels accepted and gives more valid information and the franchisor asks better and more relevant questions. Empathetic listening encourages honesty, understanding and a feeling of security. When franchisees express problems, it is not necessarily a request for the franchisor to solve the franchisee’s problems for them; it is often a request to be listened to in an empathetic and non-judgmental way. By listening effectively, a franchisor can allow the franchisee to actually think through the problem while experiencing an emotional release at the same time. By providing encouraging input the franchisor conveys concern. When a franchisee receives this non-judgmental support through active listening, he can often solve problems on his own, which in turn fosters additional confidence. Franchisees who are listened to are less likely to bottle up feelings. Active listening tells the franchisee that his or her feelings are legitimate. When concerns are ignored, negative feelings ultimately boil over and are more likely to erupt in a negative way which requires additional effort and resources to resolve.
Listening Provides Benefits
The benefits of listening go beyond problem solving. Franchisees often have excellent ideas about increasing productivity or improving system performance. Franchisors who listen for ideas solve more problems than those who do not and create a feeling of concern for franchisees while receiving better quality information.
To help become a more empathetic listener, there are listening responses one can focus on. First, avoid being critical and judgmental. When a franchisor is critical or judgmental, the franchisee either becomes more emotional or disengaged from the conversation. The franchisee may feel persecuted which does not encourage additional communication or a rational analysis of the topic being discussed.
Second, franchisors should focus on the underlying meaning of what a franchisee is trying to communicate. When this is coupled with a nonjudgmental approach the franchisor builds trust. It helps the franchisee work through their own problems knowing they will not be judged or criticized. The franchisor does not necessarily need to agree with what is being said to be empathetic, the focus must be on what the franchisee is experiencing and trying to communicate. To help with this, franchisors need to be sensitive to the franchisee’s feelings and contemplate why the franchisee is saying the things he or she is saying. Franchisors must read between the lines and look for any hidden meanings.
Third, it is important to listen before talking. Franchisors should not rush to offer advice or ask questions. It is better to listen and provide encouraging verbal cues to encourage the franchisee to fully communicate the issues. This helps the franchisee reduce his or her emotional level. Some examples of nonjudgmental, affirming statements are, “I understand” or “Really? That is interesting.” When asking questions, franchisors are advised to make them open-ended and non-threatening. Problems are more easily solved when both parties can be logical and analytical.
Finally, it is important that the franchisor not rush to solve the problem. Franchisees feel self-confident when they solve their own problems and think for themselves. Helping a franchisee work through problems advances professional development and, in the long term, will reduce the overall need to consult on minor issues.
If needed, the franchisor can take notes outlining the franchisee’s main points during the conversation. This keeps a focus on the subject and helps the franchisor recall important topics when it is appropriate to talk and ask questions.
If the discussion is heated and emotions are running high, the franchisor must silently contemplate and recognize how the use of certain words affects demeanor. Certain words can cause a listener to tune out what is being said or trigger a rebuttal. A franchisor is well served by recognizing the effect these words have and by quickly getting back to listening without reacting. Active listening requires the franchisor to wait until she fully understands what the franchisee is trying to convey and what they are asking her to do.
Who is in Control?
Listening is not always easy. Society teaches that the speaker controls the conversation and is the more dominate participant, but this is not necessarily true. Listeners actually control communication more than is perceived. For the listener to be in control she must understand what is being said. Effective listeners ensure understanding by regularly summarizing what the other person is saying and then waiting for additional feedback.
During the conversation, franchisors can use such phrases as, “What I hear you saying is that you are unhappy with your level of sales.” This works especially well when the franchisee is highly emotional. It not only calms the franchisee, but also helps the franchisor stay calm and remain objective. To do otherwise lets the franchisee control the conversation by provoking anger or engaging the franchisor in an argument. When this happens the franchisor is more likely to jump to conclusions or pass judgment. To avoid this situation, an effective franchisor should avoid the attempt to take control of the communication by talking, but rather should invite additional sharing by using such phrases as, “I would like to know what you are thinking”, or “It sounds like you have an opinion about this topic, let’s discuss that.” The more opportunity the franchisee has to talk and be listened to without judgment, the lower the emotional level falls and chances of talking through the problem increase.
When it is appropriate to provide advice to a franchisees, that advice should be expressed in terms of the value it has for the franchisee and not in terms of what it might provide the franchisor. This maintains a positive attitude and allows the franchisor, in almost every conversation, to learn something that will ultimately broaden the understanding of that franchisee and the system as a whole. If a franchisor is looking for value he will receive value. If he is looking for a fight, he will most likely find one.
This is not to suggest that all conflict can be eliminated by listening effectively, but there are certainly multiple opportunities to build trust and rapport with franchisees while showing them that they are empowered to problem solve in a non-critical atmosphere. Franchisors already recognize that franchisees have many good ideas that can help build a stronger system, but franchisors may not be fostering a sharing of these ideas when they jump to give advice or try to quickly solve a problem before it is fully understood. Franchisors who learn to listen can effectively begin to listen to learn.
Christopher M. Brown is an attorney specializing in franchise litigation with the firm Quagliano & Seeger, P.C. He can be reached at 703-547-4188 or brown@quagseeg.com.